Response to "Living Like Weasels"

Living Like Weasels is about someone who frequents a natural area near some suburbs and has a moment of clarity when they startle and are startled by a weasel. The experience seems almost spiritual for the narrator. The two of then lock eyes for what seems like eternity, and the narrator describes it almost as a mind meld or mind swap, where they were exploring each others minds and everything else falls away. I like how she uses this unique experience to explore a topic that, at least for me, is not an uncommon thought. The thought of living wild as a human, the idea that there is a certain dignity and freedom that comes with living only for survival. I felt like the description of what happened when they locked eyes was a little overly dramatic. She describes the world around them falling away, dismantling itself, and falling into the small black eyes of the weasel. I understand that it was a cool experience, but it's just a weasel, and as gnarly as weasels are I still don't think they merit such a dramatic experience.
The descriptions of nature are beautiful, and show the author's obvious love for it. This description is particularly vivid, and puts a clear image in one's mind:

"it covers two acres of bottomland near Tinker Creek with six inches of water and six thousand lily pads. In
winter, brown-and-white steers stand in the middle of it, merely dampening their hooves; from the distant shore they look like miracle itself, complete with miracle's nonchalance. Now, in summer, the steers are gone. The water lilies have blossomed and spread to a green horizontal plane that is terra firma to plodding blackbirds, and tremulous ceiling to black leeches, crayfish, and carp."

Weasels are f#$@ing gnarly

Response to Succulents

Succulents is a story about a guy named Michael and his relationship with a man named Armie and how their relationship affects Michael's apartment and desert plants in the window. The apartment and the plants are really characters in and of themselves and are an effective medium for developing characters and showing dramatic changes in attitude throughout the story.
Right off the bat, I liked the style. The first paragraph read almost like poetry. I actually used to collect desert plants and cacti, so I caught many of the plant names, but I feel like they should be capitalized to indicate they are Genus'. This may confuse some readers initially. I also like how the common name for Crassula is succulents; this works well as a title first of all because the plants are a main character in the story, and secondly because it's a word that has a lot of implications in relation to a new relationship. It's a seductive, fresh, juicy word. I think my favorite line in that opening paragraph though was the last: "Safe behind their glass, sheltered from the storms, they lavish far beyond their natural cycles."
I thought it was interesting that we were introduced first to the plants, then the apartment, then the newcomer to the home, and then finally the owner. It was interesting and refreshing and done in such a way that didn't seem forced.
I enjoyed the way the characters were introduced, because many times when homosexual characters are introduced, it is one of the first things you find out about them and it can alter a first impression. In Succulents, the characters already had their own personality and I already had images in my head for them before knowing that they were gay, which allows a reader to get to know the character before slotting them into stereotypes (which many people do). I very much liked the unique writing style and interesting way of developing setting, and how the setting adapted to the characters as their habits changed.

Response to A Summer Almost Wasted

Eva's story is about a kid in college who is unappreciative of his family. After meeting and getting to know an intriguing girl named Margie who has undergone intense tragedy and loss of her family, Aaron comes to appreciate his family and the story ends on a happy note. I liked the initial description of the girl, her oversized Greek shirt, the computer and phone shining on her expressionless face, but where Aaron finds her interesting and unusual, I find her very typical and boring. I would have immediately written her off as stuck up and moved on, so I couldn't really relate to Aaron's pursuit of this girl. I liked the description of the family, especially the father, but a little more detail about the parents could have brought a lot more to the scenes about Aaron's home life. The jump in perspective from Aaron to Margie was a little off-putting.

Response to Killing Katherine

Rozzy's story is about a woman whose entire life has been plagued by the shadow of her first cousin Katherine. At a family reunion, the main character Joan decides she is going to kill Katherine that very night. After the reunion, Joan attempts to perform the homicide but upon seeing Katherine bawling her eyes out in tears of loneliness, she loses heart and leaves without revealing herself.
I liked how the story started out, where we immediately know the speakers very dark and shocking intentions. It was definitely an attention grabber. I wish we had a little bit of description about Katherine at the reunion before we leapt into the backstory of Joan and Katherines rivalry. I was wondering if maybe at the beginning, where it says Stephanie, Katherine was meant? The back story was well explained, but there was a bit too much repetition with her being reminded how great Katherine was and how miserable she was. Maybe show how miserable she was through action, maybe a cry-for-help suicide attempt that Katherine "heroically" rescues her from. I really liked the touch about the wedding photographer taking more pictures of Katherine than of the actual couple, it really lets it sink in how she really is the center of attention all the time. Also, when Katherine confronts Joan outside, I half expected a knife fight to break out. I liked the tension building elements: Katherine's dark tone, her proximity to Joan while her back is turned, the lighting elements, and the anger. I'm glad there wasn't a confrontation at the end when Joan found Katherine crying, it kept the story from being too tidy, and a normal person wouldn't offer a shoulder to cry on for someone who had been such a bitch for so long. Good on ya

Response to Benji

In Benji, the speaker is a victim of a car crash. Her parents have died, she is paralyzed, and no one has told her little brother what really happened. She wishes that other people could feel how miserable she feels, but by the end of the story she realizes she could take this wish back.

I liked the delayed entry of the wheel chair, which is a significant element of the story, and the initial foreshadowing of the chair. Just recognizing it as "It." One thing that struck me as odd was why no one could tell Benji what was happening. I understand why the Aunt and Uncle would delay telling him until the sister got out of the hospital, but the week or two after that is a bit ridiculous. It becomes a bit unrealistic. The descriptions of the Aunt, Uncle, and Benji are good, especially the Aunt. I definitely have a solid mental picture of this character in my head, with her clingy nasty purple dress and her overbearing yet tired demeanor. I do wish we had more details about the main character though, the character is relatively one dimensional, only really expressing self pity and spite. The only real change in behavior is around Benji, which I really liked. It made the relationship between the speaker and Benji more significant. Also, does the speaker not have any friends? Obligations? A job? The impression I got was of a highschool or college student, yet the speaker is envious of Benji for his ability to go to school. Why can't the speaker go to school? At first I thought they were fully paralyzed, but later in the story they wheel themselves around. 

Response to Talking to Her Grandmother

This story is about a younger (probably highschool age) girl named Kimi who is scared about her mother's condition. Her mother is diagnosed with a severe terminal illness and much of Kimi's conflict revolves around memories she has with her mother on the path in their yard and her sadness in reminiscing. Eventually Kimi comes to understand the significance of the "path" in its many forms, both physical and metaphorical, and she comes to grips with her mother's death and even embraces it as the continuation of a cycle.

One thing I really liked was the way the mother talked. I personally would have trouble writing in a way that  sounds Native American, motherly, and sing-songy all at once. It really does sound like a mother bird cooing to her offspring comfortingly. Unfortunately, one aspect that took away from the dialogue for me was the fact that the characters are calling themselves "Indians." In my experience, Native Americans either call themselves "Natives" or whatever tribe they are. Instead of saying "You are an Indian, and there's nothing wrong with that," the mother would more likely say "You are Blackfoot." I understand that may be a bit nitpicky, but I feel like pride in heritage is an integral part of any Native American character. I feel the doctor’s office was a bit distracting, with the cute young doctor and his semi-confrontational assistant. I think if their characters had been a bit less intrusive and the office scenes had been a little shorter it would have helped the overall feel of the story. I really liked the descriptions of the house and the memories stored there, so I feel like maybe more concentration on that aspect of the story would have gone over well. The ending was very good, everything really came together nicely. There was acceptance of the mothers death, the metaphor of the path became clear, and the nurtured accepts the role of nurturer.

Response to Shattered

Shattered is about a mother of three whose husband has abandoned her and used their money to shack up with another woman in the Bahamas. This abandonment has caused severe financial difficulty for the mother and severe behavioral problems with her son. After some severe temper tantrums, the son's emotional problems are eventually overcome with medication. I wasn't really drawn into this story initially. The opening paragraph left something to be desired, with the confusingly placed "nestled" and the insinuation that if a husband wants to look at TVs while registering for gifts that there is something inherently wrong (although this did provide appropriate foreshadowing.) I like that she was so worked up that she forgot she had children to take care of. I feel like if this had been overdone, it could have come off as unbelievable, but the way the first child is introduced and the way the mother handles the situation make it work. In the next couple paragraphs there are some severe incongruities. The Narrator wonders whether the people at school or the other parents had noticed her children's shoddy appearance due to her stress and figured out what happened. She then states that it has been six months since the incident, yet they have moved twice. Unless these three different houses are in the same school district, which is unlikely due to the price discrepancies, no one would notice the change over the 6 months. The change in Jackson is described well, however the mothers reaction to it doesn't make much sense. While I got the feeling the mother didn't have much time for parenting, she insists on refusing his medication because she thinks she can fix him with her "constant love and attention." The ending is very curt and leaves me with many questions. Is everyone happy? Is this story "pro-medication" in some way? Why was Jackson convulsing? I left confused and unfulfilled.