Response to Preston

"Awkward" was a story about a kid named Mitch who has fallen for his best friend Loki's (Jamie) twin sister, Annalise. He prepares all day, anxious to tell Loki about this transgression, and is finally confronted by Loki himself.
This story does a good job revealing the protagonist's anxienty thoughout the tale. It also lives up to it's title in that it also makes us feel awkward for Mitch when he is put in this awkward situation. Also, the title Awkward possibly hints at a subversive theme of homoerotic tension throughout the story. There are some very awkward scenes between Mitch and Loki, especially in the locker room.
Unfortunately, it also lives up to it's title in other ways.  Characterizations is all over the place. For instance, Jamie "Loki" Turlance. He dresses like "Poison" and he is cruel and nice and understanding and misguiding. I understand the intent is to personify the Norse god, but he just comes off as a chotch. I did like how he was able to misdirect conversation with meaningless banter, that was nice, but the banter needs to be better and more intelligent. Not just: "Your gay, bro?" "I'm not gay, bro. You're gay."
And then Mitch is just a pervert. Who steals a girls bra as a keepsake? If Annalise knew that, she'd probably never touch the kid, and with the unpredicatability of Loki, she'll probably find out at some point.
And then the gym teacher is a pervert. I guess her fetish is highschool boys being intimate? Weird.
All of this perverse and homo-erotic stuff could work, it just has to have some sort of precident. It has to mean something. As it is, it just makes the writing hard to follow and awkward to read.
Also, I absolutely did not get the ending. Why would he put habenero sauce in his undies if he had just been a good friend and granted his blessing for Mitch to date his sister?
There needs to be more plot. If you want all this weird stuff to work, maybe have Loki confess to Mitch that he likes him at the end, and have the creepy gym teacher be watching them kiss or something. I don't know. I feel awkward.